Quotes of Wisdom 42 Strange Thoughts while Grieving

“One of the things that happens to people in grief is they secretly think they’re crazy, because they realize they are thinking things that don’t make sense.” ~Joan Didion, Author, Journalist, Playwright

~Joan Didion, Author, Journalist, Playwright

2/6/19  Early this morning I stood at our kitchen sink, coffee cup in hand, looking out the window.  A big California Black Oak tree stands in our front yard; winter’s leafless limbs heavy with age and thick bark. At the street end of our concrete walkway, there were three stuffed white plastic bags and three stuffed black plastic bags.  The three white bags were full of my mom’s clothes ready for pick up by the thrift store van. 

I stood there for a moment and thought, “how strange, it’s as if I’ve kicked my mom to the curb.”  The next thought came, “should I go get those bags and deliver them to the thrift store myself?”

The black bags were full of my husband’s old clothes. When he walked into the kitchen a moment later, I realized I hadn’t thrown anyone to the curb.

Grief is a confusing mix of raw emotions.  Bizarre thoughts are a normal part of the process. Even 366 days after the death. 

Yesterday I planted a yellow floribunda rose named “Sunsprite” in my front yard, in remembrance.

One year death anniversaries are hard. Rituals help with the process of allowing grief’s complexities to move through us.

There’s space for as many roses as I need.

Remember, thoughts are just that, thoughts. Nothing more. You are not “crazy” and they need not crush you.

As always, thank you for visiting! Don’t be shy, I’d love to know you’ve been here.


Bonnie A. McKeegan 3.3-02.1.jpeg

*Quotes of Wisdom – a Friday at 9am (Pacific Time Zone) series offering Wisdom, Feel Good, Inspirational and Thought-provoking Quotes. Sometimes with links and most likely, with too many thoughts of my own included.  

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4 Replies to “Quotes of Wisdom 42 Strange Thoughts while Grieving”

  1. Bonnie, a heartbreaking time for you. Your post is filled with calm reflections and the wisdom of Joan Didion is interspersed with your thoughts and actions of this anniversary. (Such a strange word for the date, anniversary is usually associated with happy events.) May your Sunsprite rose flower in all its glory, a brightness in these dark confused days, full of colour for you and in the memory of your mother.

    I’ve never heard of Joan Didion before but want to read some of her work and I also see there is a Netflix documentary about her.
    Hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “There’s space for as many roses as I need.” Lovely. We planted milkweed in our memory garden. Sometimes I like thinking about roots taking nourishment from my leavings. I bet your mom would appreciate the rose!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lovely visualization Lisa. I do think planting things / nurturing gardens or a house plant is highly metaphoric for nurturing ourselves and our own growth / healing. I think that is why gardening and tending plants is so powerful.
      And, yes, my mom surely would love my planting roses in her honor.
      Thanks for stopping by!


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