Things to Expect When Your Mother Dies continues.
6. A new tradition of Saturday Night Family Dinner with your father begins. A burning candle sits on the table at the empty chair. Maybe two candles would be more accurate. My brother is still gone.
7. People won’t ask how you are doing or mention your loss. People just don’t know what to say. They’ve their own lives to deal with. They’ll have no idea your mother’s death lurks behind your mask.
8. Friends will want to take you to lunch. Chest aching, you’ll turn down and cancel lunch invites in the immediate weeks following her death. There’ll be no time for lunch dates. Nor will there be emotional endurance to sit in public holding it together. There’ll be no functioning taste buds or appetite. The offer that comes from your friend’s heart will touch yours tenderly, or perhaps sharply at a time when you are completely raw hamburger.
9. You can’t make up your mind what color to paint the entryway. I look around my house and see my mother everywhere. She and I were a team when it came to painting and remodeling decisions. Quilted wall hangings are the foundation. Her artistry displayed upon entry.
10. People will text “How are you?” The autoreply, “I’m fine. How are you?” will flow through your fingertips. The truth, “My mother died, how are you today?” seems rude. You’ll be nearly the farthest from fine you’ve ever been. Could be, you were even less “fine” when someone else in your life died, but this is your mom. It’s hard.
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