Why I Write Series – The 1st M in I.M.M.E.R.S.E. M.E Mending Mistakes

To see the first post of my Why I Write Series you may go here:  I.M.M.E.R.S.E M.E. 9 Reasons Why I Write – Series Intro

I write to Mend, Heal and Adjust.

Mend my mistakes. Some of my fictional arcs are about acknowledging my mistakes, expressing regret for what I couldn’t mend in the past. Mistakes I cannot directly repair now.

When I was 15 years old I wrote 3 long love letters to my high school sweetheart.  We had broken up and both moved away from our home town.  You may say, “Three teenager love letters, wow, not interesting at all.”  But, in those 3 letters I poured out my broken-heart, thoughts, feelings and wishes for reconciliation.  My sorrow for the mistakes I had made that broke his heart. Those letters were meant to make amends and heal my own wounds from the breakup.  They made a difference in the course of my life. And his too.  My letters were an invitation for him to join me in making amends – and he did eventually.  I wrote it all out, poetically I believed at the time, then let it all go. The end of the last letter went something like, “If you love something set it free, it’ll come back if it’s meant to be.” There was something about butterflies in the writing but I cannot remember where the images and expressions came from that inspired me.   Probably Cosmo!  Learned much about love and relationships between those colorful pages!

Heal my wounds. When I was a teenager I wrote pages and pages of personal journals, often embellished with my imagination when the real story was too painful to write.  Sometimes I’d address them to a friend.  But those friends never saw those writings. I used their names to break from the dreariness of addressing “Dear Journal”. Those writings burned long ago.  They were sacred and private but that privacy had been violated.  How I wish I could read what I wrote all those years ago!

I write in a journal to my gone too young brother Wes. My how I miss him! August 16th 2017 marks 15 sad years since he followed the rainbow bridge after melanoma took over his body at age 31.  The healing journey will never come to an “end”.  I think I’ll just keep writing to him.

My story Mind Over Gray Matter is an example of how Healing Through Writing has made a difference recently.  A few days after writing the story for a Wattpad contest, I took my kids to the rodeo.  That was last week.  That is a sign of healing!  My heart did not race. I didn’t even think about not going – I forgot to be afraid.  You see, I’ve avoided the rodeo since my accident in college. The story tells it well enough if you are interested.  A layer of the wound has healed. At least I can cheer on the barrel racers without having an anxiety attack. The bull-riding didn’t even freak me out. Last year I was still avoiding the rodeo! I guess you’d have to know that my spirit longs to ride free on horseback again but I’ve been too terrified just to watch others.

Adjust. I write to continue healing my own grief – layer by layer- and to adjust to the many changes life brings – not all cruel, by the way!  Adjustment to a different school for my kids – a different community in which to connect, a different house to live in – one that is big enough but too hot for my comfort, or simply a realization that I cannot eat ice cream or chocolate anymore!  All of the changes, even for the better, require adjustment.  The chocolate’s still a frustrated adjustment…

Now I write with the hope that some story formed in my imagination will touch another human being’s truth, heart or spirit and perhaps lead to some mending, healing or adjusting of their own.

How much of your writing comes from your “truth”?

Thanks for stopping by…

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2 Replies to “Why I Write Series – The 1st M in I.M.M.E.R.S.E. M.E Mending Mistakes”

  1. I know writing for me is one way I deal with the things in my life I don’t understand. I think it’s brave that you can write and keep moving forward in your life with healing! I know your stories inspire me in so many ways and I thank you for that! I have no doubts that you will also inspire and help many other people!

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